How to survive New Year's 2010, plus Upcoming Events, and New Music

Posted by 8Ball Fri, 04 Dec 2009 20:39:00 GMT

Hello Friendly Person:

When it comes to New Year’s 2010, you got 2 choices in how you can make it through the party. If you think you have plenty of choices you are wrong. You don’t. This year you are looking down the long and mighty barrel of a 10th anniversary Breakfast of Champions that lands on a freakin’ Friday! That’s the VERY BEGINNING of what’s bound to be a legendary weekend, so I’m telling you: there are 2 choices. If you want to make it through New Year’s 201, you either go Mentat or you go Sex Tape.

Mentats are those brainy dudes from Frank Herbet’s Dune. They’re the samurais of Thought. Their brains are so buff that all they have to do is WILL themselves to know something and, poof, they know it! If you were waiting for MUNI, and a Mentat was next to you, you wouldn’t have to step out in the street to squit for the next bus. You’d just go, “Hey, Mentat dude. When’s the next bus?” And he’d say, “In seven-minutes, twenty-two-seconds, eight-hundreths of a millisecond, fourteen nanoseconds, sixtillion nippleseconds, etc.” At Breakfast of Champions, the first thing the Mentat does when he shows up is receit the Mentat Mantra:

“It is by will alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the juice of sapho that thoughts acquire speed, the lips acquire stains, the stains become a warning. It is by will alone I set my mind in motion.”

I don’t know what “sapho” is, but I’m sure it’s illegal, so keep it on the DL. Between the sapho and his Mantra, that fucking Mentat is now ready to party his ass off for the next 3 days. Because of his super thinking, he isn’t going to get tired, he won’t need disco naps, he will pound any cocktail or shot travels within arm’s reach, and he will continually dance. Even during the breakdowns, that Mentat will be a dancing fool. It’s mind over matter – that’s the Mentat way – and that is why going Mentat is one of your options for making it through New Year’s this year.

Your other option: go Sex Tape. It’s a little like going Full-Retard, but with more drugs and less sympathy. For some, Sex Tape is a way of life. It’s like a state of Zen. You’re mind is so empty of shame or consequence that when life presents you with an opportunity to do something really retarded, you seize that opportunity without so much as an, “only if you promise you won’t put this on YouTube.” When you blank our mind in this fashion, you’re primed for survival at Breakfast of Champions. Nothing you do will matter except having fun. You’ll ignore the cameras, the shocked and appalled stares of your friends, as you pull down your pants and suck down a balloon of nitrous and flop on the danceloor like a fish to the bassline. Oral sex at the bar in front of all your friends? Why not! Sharted your pants? Who needs underwear anyway! Doesn’t that sound fun?!

So, there’s are your options. You dedicate yourself to survival through Power of the Mind, or you become the mental equivalent of a comatose chihuahua and succumb to the pleasures of unabashed stupidity. What you don’t want to do is try a little of both. When you do that, it’s like Mr. Miyagi says:

“Walk on road, hm? Walk left side, safe. Walk right side, safe. Walk middle, sooner or later. Squish! Just like grape.”

XO, 8

Upcoming events

Saturday, Dec 5th – Ruby Skye
Mancub will be rockin the upstairs room
Email chpwtch@hotmail your first and last names for FREE guestlist Ruby Skye – 420 Mason Street
Free if you email Chip
10pm-2am

Sunday, Dec 6th – San Francisco Bike Coalition presents Winterfest 2009 @ SOMArts Gallery

Don’t miss the hottest bike party of the year the 14th Annual Winterfest Member Party, Auction, Art Show and Fundraiser. All proceeds from our fundraiser go directly toward improving biking conditions in San Francisco so all cyclists have a comfortable, safe and dignified ride about town.

Over 1,000 SF bicycling advocates of all stripes—SFBC members, bike industry, local businesses, local artists and politicians coming together for a festive evening to celebrate the growth of San Francisco bicycling. An occasion to raise a glass to the SFBC & our members for being 10,000 current-members strong! To top it off, the event includes New Belgium beer, DJs Laron & ShOOey spinning all night, the photo booth, food vendors ($) and over 1,000 bike-friendly party-folk.

Bid and buy
Winterfest features a fabulous 60 piece bike focused local art auction, plus an unrivaled silent & live auction complete with the hottest bikes, gear and oodles of gift certificates from your favorite restaurants and cultural institutions. If crafts are more your speed, Winterfest has a robust craft table. Or you could try your luck and enter the raffle for your chance to win a beautiful one-of-a-kind bike quilt. To top it off, the event includes New Belgium beer, music, photo booth, food vendors ($) and over 1,000 bike-friendly party-folk.

Admission includes:
Complimentary New Belgium beer, DJ’s, valet bike parking and a photo booth along with a great feeling knowing you’re supporting SF’s most effective bicycle advocacy organization

934 Brannan @ 8th St
6:00pm – 10:30pm
$15 suggested minimum admission for SFBC Members, $40 for people joining at the door (Includes SFBC membership + admission)
Facebook invite
Flyer

Wednesday, 12/9 – Feel the Beat Sports Basement Shopping Party

Just because LovEvolution 2009 is over doesn’t mean the Feel the Beat campaign has to be! Our campaign so far has netted over 150 new organ donor signups and raised awareness and funds for California Transplant Donor Network. Imagine how many lives will be saved and improved in the future with those 150 new organ & tissue donors!

The Feel the Beat crew is once again hosting a shopping party at Sports Basement, just in time for the holiday shopping season. Get 10% off that perfect gift for friends and family and Sports Basement will donate another 10% to CTDN.org. We will have organ donor registration forms on-hand along with snacks/beer/wine kindly provided by Sports Basement.

Please make sure you stop by our table on the main floor near the Bryant Street entrance to get your stamp so your purchases will count towards a donation to CTDN! Ask any employee to point you in the right direction if you can’t find us!

We will have Feel The Beat t-shirts for sale at a bargain price of $5, custom designed by our team that look great and will make you FEEL great while supporting a worthwhile cause. Proceeds will be donated to CTDN.org.

If you cannot make our event, but still would like to sign up to become an organ donor, please sign up here

You may ask… What if I am already an organ donor? Take one minute to forward this invitation to FIVE friends and encourage them to join us at our event or to sign up to be a donor here

1590 Bryant @ 15th St
6:00pm – 9:00pm
FREE!
Facebook invite

Thursday Dec 10th – Electric Whommp

A Fun- Raiser for Tak, brillant atist and friend, whom’s warehouse burned down in Oakland

Feat Mancub, Mochipet, Nugz, Smasheltooth, Ultraviolet, Zombie-J, Syd Gris, Jonathan W. and Gravity

651 Howard st. Club Roe
2 for 1 drinks until 11pm
$5 cover 10-2am

Friday, December 11 – MONKEY PUNKS AT MARS BAR

Monkey Punks driving low-riders and blasting the ill bassfunk. This is a new monthly party, and to start things off right we have two very special guests.

MANCUB (Space Cowboys / Sleevin)
This guy knows how to rock the party, any party, or playa, or warehouse. Known for his diverse mixing skills and track selection, Mancub has been one of the taste makers of the Space Cowboys dj’s for many years. Lately, he’s also been in the studio, working on new tunes for Sleevin Recs – check out his podcast http://mancub.podomatic.com/

LUX (Indivisible / Blunted Funk)
He will be performing his own music, live via Abelton live and a few surprises. LUX has quietly been creating quite a stir in the Bay Area, with his dirty, glitch sound and slick hiphop & crunk remixes.

with residents:
Sneak-E Pete (Blunted Funk Recs / Samurai.FM) Big Dolla (Lowrider punks)

Mars Bar (7th & Brannan)
5pm – 2am, 21+
No cover

Saturday, Dec 12 – The Deep End presents Bling in the Holidays

It’s a holly jolly December and time for a little holiday cheer & reunion Deep End style!

And what better theme than BLING!! Bling it up! Bling it ON! Get all those Marilyn Monroe’s best friend’s diamonds or cubic Z’s and get GAWWWWWWWWWDY! Gangster bling? Bring it! Elegance? Pshaw! Come dressed to the nines or dress down to the ones. Just a little twinkle is all that’s required.

AND BETTER YET! It’s a celebration for not one but TWO! of our own…our little Clarkie and Lee Williams are alls grows up! Please come give them a special kind of sparkle that only a spank can provide! Happy Birthday, Lee & Clarkie!!!

We want your sparkles and smiles and fancy footwork at Shine in a week’s time…next Saturday is Shine’y, Sparkle’y, Sequence’y!!!

Bling in the holidays with us. We’d love to see you…and these DJ’s would love to spin the sparkle fantastic with you!

CLARKIE (with a special b-day set)
MATT KRAMER
KRAMER
J-ROD
....and don’t think you won’t get a poem in your inbox in the next week!

Shine – 1337 Mission Street
9:00pm ~ 2:00am

Sunday, Dec 13 – Haute Holidays: A local designer showcase at The Bently Reserve

Warm-up your senses – and your closet – at Haute Holidays, a new holiday shopping experience showcasing the Bay Area’s amazing independent design talent.

Hosted by Style Division, the first annual Haute Holidays will take place on Sunday, December 13th from 12-7pm in the fabulous Bentley Reserve building in downtown San Francisco.

With over 60 designers to choose from, you will find something for everyone on your holiday gift list, plus plenty more to treat yourself! Shoppers will find the freshest, funkiest & most fabulous selection of clothing and accessories available in the Bay Area.

And it’s not just shopping—Haute Holidays is a multi-faceted and sensory holiday experience crafted by Style Division to entertain, inspire, and engage attendees. The event will include a runway show, adult beverages, DJs, an art gallery and live art creation, interactive holiday activities, and more. Free gift bags to the first 100 shoppers.

Stylish beats provided by 8Ball (Space Cowboys), Anthony Mansfeild (Green Gorilla Lounge / Hector Works), and more tba.

Please visit http://www.style-division.com for a complete list of vendors, sponsors, & affiliates.

Delicious food will be available by local favorites Triple Crown & Sauce!

A portion of the proceeds will be donated to Creativity Explored and Sunset Youth Services.

For vending inquiries, please email styledivisionsf@gmail.com

@ The Bently Reserve
301 Battery St. In the heart of downtown San Francisco
http://bentlyreserve.com
13th – 12-7pm
$5 entrance – All ages welcome

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It all started down by the water, off a small pier with a small crew who didn’t want to compete with the masses on NYE. Ten years later, thousands of dancers and DJs have made the annual trek to the Space Cowboy’s Breakfast of Champions.

This epic event has reached a new milestone. Ten years at $10. We’ve never charged more, and this year is no different. We are moving the party to Kelly’s Mission Rock. Back on the water, sunrise to sunset.

Space Cowboys DJ:
8ball, Aaron Jae, Bassben,
Brad Robinson, Deckard, Ernie Trevino,
J9, Kapt’n Kirk, Mancub,
rrrus, Shizzy, shOOey, Tamo
& making his Cowboy debut… Zach Moore

And Friends:
Bam, Benchun, Bob V, Clarkie
Ding Dong, Felix the Dog, Icon,
Jive, JoeJoe, Kramer, M3,
Mace, Mopo, Mozaic
Murphstar, Robb Green, Trav, Uncle Larry

Also, we are happy to announce our special guest to help us celebrate our 10 year anniversary.

SOUL OF MAN – Fingerlickin’ UK

SOM first appeared at BOC in 2004. We are honored to have the label founder celebrate the new year. Fingerlickin Records just celebrated their label’s 10yr anniversary.

Kelly’s Mission Rock
817 Terry Francois St, SF
6am til Uncle!
$10, Pre-sale tickets available for faster entry, click here

NEW MUSIC

Live from Ghost Ship, Episode 4: Murphstar
Well, not from Ghost Ship exactly—we had technical difficulties during Ghost Ship, so to make it up to everyone Zach Moore recorded this set when Murphstar played Mighty a couple weeks back. Enjoy!

Tracklist
1. “Big Pimpin’ Booty” – Jay Z
2. “My My My” (Deekline & Wizard Remix) – Armand Van Helden
3. “Fix” – Fake Blood
4. “Block Parties” – Slyde
5. “Time to MGMT” – Slybeats
6. “WTF” feat. Kid Sister & Pase Rock – Tittsworth
7. “Jackhammer” – Funkasaurus
8. “Shut the Funk Up” – Refunk
9. Track Info Unavailable. (Sorry Kidz!)
10. “Pumpin’ the Funk” – Strider
11. “Shake the Pressure” – DJ D**kline & Red Polo
12. “Drop the Bomb” – Plaza De Funk
13. “Superstars” (Plaza De Funk Remix) – DJ Phunkae
14. “Planes Booty” – Slybeats
15. Track Info Unavailable. (Sorry Kidz!)